Three Questions by Lang Leav
i hope i never lose him.
So I’m reading this paper by Helen Fisher et al., and when I came to this paragraph I was just like… yep. That sounds familiar.
Romantic love begins as an individual starts to regard another individual as special and unique. The lover then focuses his/her attention on the beloved, aggrandizing the beloved’s worthy traits and overlooking or minimizing his/her flaws. The lover expresses increased energy, ecstasy when the love affair is going well and mood swings into despair during times of adversity. Adversity and barriers heighten romantic passion, what has been referred to as ‘frustration attraction.’ The lover suffers ‘separation anxiety’ when apart from the beloved and a host of sympathetic nervous system reactions when with the beloved, including sweating and a pounding heart. Lovers are emotionally dependent; they change their priorities and daily habits to remain in contact with and/or impress the beloved. Smitten humans also exhibit empathy for the beloved; many are willing to sacrifice, even die for this ‘special’ other. The lover expresses sexual desire for the beloved, as well as intense sexual possessiveness, mate guarding. Yet the lover’s craving for emotional union supersedes his/her craving for sexual union with the beloved. Most characteristic, the lover thinks obsessively about the beloved, ‘intrusive thinking’. Rejected lovers first experience a phase of protest, during which they try to win back the beloved and often feel abandonment rage; then they move into the second stage of rejection, associated with resignation and despair. Romantic love is also involuntary, difficult to control and generally impermanent.
I’m in love, and it’s great. :)
On March 21, 2012, sometime between 10pm and midnight, at the base of a giant magnolia tree, Stephen told me for the first time, “I love you.” And we held each other and we cried because we didn’t know how long it would last.
It has been a year, and I am more in love with him than ever. He is my beloved. I know few things for certain, but I do know this: that I love that boy, and that he loves me, and that we are in love, and that we love God, and that nothing else matters.