Laughing hysterically.
(via catholicmemes)
One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
(via made for more -tification - Thomas a Kempis (Imitation of Christ) | Meme Generator)
Vanderbilt+Catholic: Stuff Catholics Say
Oh gosh, I love my friends.
So yeah.
Arrow to the knee?
PFFFFF GET OUT AND COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE REAL THINGS.
St. Ignatius took a cannonball to the leg and still founded the Jesuits.
When I become a mom
thatothersmaybelovedmorethani:
I’m going to call my kids their full names in every day conversation.
“John Paul, please remember not to speak Italian at school. The teachers don’t understand it and when authority figures do not understand something, it makes them dislike it.”
“Therese Marie, I do not have a problem with you composing music on the piano, so long as it does not detract from your schoolwork.”
“Joseph Benedict, please get the extra chapel veil - it’s in the glove compartment. The baby spit up on hers during Latin Mass.”
“Cecilia Agatha is on her way to choir. When she gets there, please remind her that humility is an important quality and try not to let her voice dominate.”
“Michael Patrick discerned into the minor seminary, so he’ll be going there in the fall.”
“Mary Catherine, please set the table. Fr. Matt is coming for dinner.”
“James Thomas, tuck your sister into bed and then brush your teeth. Then we can discuss moral relativism in Disney movies.”But when I say their names in Latin, that’s when they’re in trouble.
“Ioannes Paulus! DO NOT TELL YOUR SISTER IF SHE EATS APPLES SHE GOES TO HELL!”
“Theresia Maria! DO NOT CALL YOUR CCD TEACHER A CAFETERIA CATHOLIC AND PROCEED TO TELL HER THAT THE CAFETERIA IS NOT THE PLACE FOR MORALS! THAT IS NOT CHARITABLE!”
“Iosepho Benedicto! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA CLAUS AND STOP TELLING YOUR BROTHER THAT HE WILL KIDNAP HIM AT NIGHT UNLESS HE IS LEFT COOKIES!”
“Caecilia Agata! DO NOT STAPLE YOUR SISTER’S HANDS TOGETHER!”
“Michaelis Patricius! SNAKES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THIS HOUSE. I DON’T CARE IF YOUR PATRONS DID CUT OFF THEIR HEADS AND BANISH THEM FROM ISLANDS!”
“Maria Catharina! CRUCIFIXES ARE NOT WEAPONS TO HIT YOUR BROTHERS WITH!”
“Iames Thomae! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CORRECT THE PRIEST ON THEOLOGICAL MATTERS DURING HIS HOMILY! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?! I DON’T CARE IF HE WAS WRONG! GO WRITE OUT THE LITANY OF HUMILITY!”And finish everything with “IT MAKES JESUS CRY!”
And this is how I will raise my children.
SIOBHAN. STOP. BEING. PERFECT.
Yeah, so, um, Siobhan.. We’re getting married right?
lolz this is too perfect!
Perfection.
#romanmissalcrisis
Reasons I love being Catholic: A Profane Opinion.
PLEASE? COULD YOU JUST PLEASE? I’M DYING. WHAT IS AIR?!?1.) Motherfucking tradition.
2.) The saints are fucking badasses! St. Paul? Yeah he only wrote 14 books of the Bible. This guy gets stoned in Acts so bad, all the other apostles are standing around him, waiting for him to die but HE STANDS UP and goes back into the city TO FINISH WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS SAYING.
3.) The Eucharist.
4.) Priests and nuns are the coolest people alive.
5.) Faith and WORKS. The Catholic Church is the largest charitable organization on the planet.
6.) The Doctors of the Church.
7.) Have I mentioned the Saints? WELL I WILL AGAIN. We have people who came before us who were hardcore. Like St. Francis? “Oh but St. Francis loved animals…he was so cute.” WRONG. That motherfucker was one of the most hardcore saints ever to live. He ate ASHES because FUCK TASTE THAT’S WHY. He was like Robin Hood! He hung out with lepers. He received the STIGMATA.
8.) Adoration. Adoration. Adoration.
9.) Because my church has truth. I’m loyal as shit to my church and head over heels in love with it.
10.) Almost 2,000 years aka 21 centuries, founded by Christ VS some church that was formed yesterday by Bob from next door.
Long live the pontiff. Peace out.
STIGMATA, BRO. Think about the last time your wimpy ass used a band-aid. Aw, did you cut your hand? You poor baby. SAINTS WILL WALK AROUND WITH GAPING HOLES IN THEIR HANDS FOR YEARS. YOU THINK PADRE PIO USED BAND-AIDS? NO, FUCK THE POLICE. PADRE PIO USED JESUS AND THAT’S ABOUT IT. OH YEAH, AND HE COULD FUCKING FLY. NO BIG DEAL. JUST A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CATHOLIC SAINT.
And because we’re morbid badasses, WE KEEP THE REMAINS OF THEIR BODIES. Why? BECAUSE WE WANT TO SCARE YOU. Oh, the undecayed corpse of St Catherine Laboure doesn’t scare you? HOW ABOUT HER HEART AND PIECES OF HER SKIN ENSHRINED IN A BASEMENT? I DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT EITHER.
And speaking of sleeping tonight, you know why movies like The Devil Inside scares you? BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS REAL. Sorry, when was the last time you heard about some Reverend Brother Grand Poobah exorcise a demon? YOU NEED A PRIEST FOR THAT SON, EVEN THE MOVIES KNOW IT. WE HAVE PEOPLE WHOSE JOBS IS LITERALLY TO JUST GO AROUND KICKING DEMON ASS. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND. THAT IS HOW SERIOUS WE ARE. THE EXORCIST WAS BASED ON A TRUE STORY HOMEBOY.
I COULD GO ON BRO. I COULD GO ON.
MOTHER TERESA. EVER HEARD OF HER?!? Yeah, she did amazing work in India and founded her own religious community, and that’s awesome by itself. But then after she died we found out she was like OH HEY FOR 40 YEARS I HAVEN’T FELT GOD’S PRESENCE. And guess what, she was like FUCK FEELINGS IMMA DO THIS ANYWAYS.
St. Maximilian Kolbe was like YO MAN, YOUR RULES HERE IN AUSCHWITZ SUCK. DON’T KILL THAT GUY, PUT ME IN THE STARVATION CHAMBER INSTEAD. And then he was like STARVATION, WHATEVER. LET’S SING HYMNS AND SHIT WHILE WE’RE IN HERE. And he was so badass that THEY COULDN’T STARVE HIM TO DEATH SO THEY INJECTED HIM WITH POISON. BECAUSE THAT’S HOW MUCH OF A BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER HE WAS.
JOHN THE BAPTIST LIVED IN THE FUCKING DESERT. He ate bugs because SCREW NORMAL FOOD, I’M GOD’S COUSIN. HE CALLED A GROUP OF PHARISEES A BROOD OF VIPERS BECAUSE HE DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING BUT JESUS.
And THE FUCKING MASS. Oh, no big deal, it’s only HEAVEN STOOPING DOWN TO KISS THE EARTH. Jesus died on the Cross for all mankind, but He is like NO WAY IN HELL AM I DONE. WATCH THIS SHIT. BAM I LOOK LIKE BREAD AND WINE. EAT ME. DO IT OR YOU’LL DIE. I MEAN IT.
Mumford and Sons—Not in Nottingham (cover from the disney movie Robin Hood)
No way! This is so awesome
(via badwolfcomplex)
"When the solution is simple, God is answering."
Albert Einstein
Posted 4 months ago
#einstein #quote #favorite #catholic #not really but i want it under my religion tag
#einstein #quote #favorite #catholic #not really but i want it under my religion tag
Notes
lutheranreflections asked: Hello friend! I was wondering, would you would be willing to share a few points on why you enjoy being a Catholic Christian?
Hey there! What a great question! Gosh, I don’t even know where to begin…
I love being part of a Church that was founded by Jesus Christ Himself. Apostolic succession rocks! And I love that the Catholic Church is an unwavering force for Truth, justice, and the dignity of human life.
I love having so many Saints in heaven to pray for me. I love our Blessed Mother. I love all the devotions. I love the ancient prayers.
I love the Mass. I love the Eucharist. I love Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. I love Confession. I love the Liturgy of the Hours. I love priests and monks and nuns.
I love holy Catholic couples and their huge families. I love chastity and modesty and keeping my body and mind pure. I love explaining some of the weird things I do to curious people. I love seeing someone walking around campus with a Rosary in their hand. I love that I look just like everyone else, but I’m not. There has to be something different about the way I live my life. I love figuring out what that means day by day.
I love that everything in this world makes sense with God. And I love that all of the answers I seek can be found on the Cross.
I guess I’ll leave it at that for now. ;)
MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE if you say no, because I respect your boundaries.
‘CAUSE I’M LONG, AND STRONG
AND I’M DOWN TO GET THE FRICTION ON as long as it’s okay with you. otherwise I’m good with a movie and some tea.SO LADIES, LADIES, IF YOU WANNA ROLL IN MY MERCEDES please let me know ahead of time so that I can plan accordingly
BABY GOT self-respect
OOH BABY I WANNA GET WIT YA, AND TAKE YO PICTURE because you really have lovely eyes
EVEN WHITE BOYS GOT TO SHOUT I love spending time with you.
I’M TIRED OF MAGAZINES SAYIN FLAT BUTTS ARE THE THING because I don’t appreciate mainstream media dictating standards of beauty and desire
SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE THAT HEALTHY BUTT unless you’d rather just shake hands and say goodnight.
BABY GOT BACK and other nice features, which I will be sure to compliment her on when the next date rolls around.
I WANNA GET YOU HOME AND cuddle with you and watch some Disney movies.
I AIN’T TALKIN BOUT PLAYBOY because it’s degrading to women, and I’d rather talk about how much I like you.
