When I become a mom
thatothersmaybelovedmorethani:
I’m going to call my kids their full names in every day conversation.
“John Paul, please remember not to speak Italian at school. The teachers don’t understand it and when authority figures do not understand something, it makes them dislike it.”
“Therese Marie, I do not have a problem with you composing music on the piano, so long as it does not detract from your schoolwork.”
“Joseph Benedict, please get the extra chapel veil - it’s in the glove compartment. The baby spit up on hers during Latin Mass.”
“Cecilia Agatha is on her way to choir. When she gets there, please remind her that humility is an important quality and try not to let her voice dominate.”
“Michael Patrick discerned into the minor seminary, so he’ll be going there in the fall.”
“Mary Catherine, please set the table. Fr. Matt is coming for dinner.”
“James Thomas, tuck your sister into bed and then brush your teeth. Then we can discuss moral relativism in Disney movies.”But when I say their names in Latin, that’s when they’re in trouble.
“Ioannes Paulus! DO NOT TELL YOUR SISTER IF SHE EATS APPLES SHE GOES TO HELL!”
“Theresia Maria! DO NOT CALL YOUR CCD TEACHER A CAFETERIA CATHOLIC AND PROCEED TO TELL HER THAT THE CAFETERIA IS NOT THE PLACE FOR MORALS! THAT IS NOT CHARITABLE!”
“Iosepho Benedicto! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA CLAUS AND STOP TELLING YOUR BROTHER THAT HE WILL KIDNAP HIM AT NIGHT UNLESS HE IS LEFT COOKIES!”
“Caecilia Agata! DO NOT STAPLE YOUR SISTER’S HANDS TOGETHER!”
“Michaelis Patricius! SNAKES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THIS HOUSE. I DON’T CARE IF YOUR PATRONS DID CUT OFF THEIR HEADS AND BANISH THEM FROM ISLANDS!”
“Maria Catharina! CRUCIFIXES ARE NOT WEAPONS TO HIT YOUR BROTHERS WITH!”
“Iames Thomae! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CORRECT THE PRIEST ON THEOLOGICAL MATTERS DURING HIS HOMILY! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?! I DON’T CARE IF HE WAS WRONG! GO WRITE OUT THE LITANY OF HUMILITY!”And finish everything with “IT MAKES JESUS CRY!”
And this is how I will raise my children.
SIOBHAN. STOP. BEING. PERFECT.
Yeah, so, um, Siobhan.. We’re getting married right?
lolz this is too perfect!
Perfection.
